Memorial Day Weekend!

It feels like it's been a long journey out here in "sunny California"! I'm ready to face the chilly spring weather of Wisconsin! I was so fortunate that my sister, Peggy, did a return trip out here to visit over the holiday weekend along with our daughter, Gretchen (age 11). This was really refreshing to see them! Gretchen skipping around looking for geckos, hopping on the "musical tiles" in the rose garden and we explored the San Gabriel Mountains (Memorial Day)! Looking for a picnic spot was a little challenging, however, we really enjoyed the change in scenery. Peggy was the brave reliable driver going up the mountain road...we made it to two dams which were beautiful, however, the surrounding landscape was very desert-like. Not really a place where you would spread out your picnic blanket. So we backed up the Tahoe and enjoyed our picnic from there. We also found a few friends along the way - see Peggy with Mark Twain in downtown Monrovia, CA!

All in all things are going well. I'm just marching on through the prescribed treatments...knowing that God is protecting me and that I will get through this one day at a time. Psalm 23 comes to mind frequently this week. As much incredible support as all of you have provided, there are still those lonely moments when you need to lean on your faith as your guide. It is very comforting to know that I'm never alone - my prayers for a miracle have been answered! I'm walking a thin line between resting and strengthening. It's really amazing to me how resilient the human body is. Truly a miraculous work of God.

As I walk along the City of Hope "campus" buildings everyday - most of them have signs that read "Research" of some sort going on. I'm so very curious and would like to learn more while I'm here, however, I guess now that I only have one week left, it's not quite enough time for an internship! I am so interested about what studies are going on and what he future holds for cancer treatments. However, for now, I'm back to focusing on healing and strengthening so I can return to my real life in Wisconsin June 5th (this is also my final day of radiation)! Many have said that the radiation is cumulative and that I will be tired for a few weeks after this. I'm okay with that - just imagine, I could have been paralyzed! I never want to forget the miracle that occurred. So many miracles in such a short span of time.

I can't tell you how much all of your support and prayers have made a difference! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Sincerely, Bridget

Counting Down!

Hello my Friends! It was another week of getting through Dr. appointments, labs, daily radiation, etc...but I have to say that I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My sister, Susie stayed with me last week and she did a great job at keeping me positive and realizing that I only have less than 10 more radiation treatments...so we're counting down! I think Susie was hoping to see more movie stars - that was the only disappointment. However, we did have a surprise visit from our brother, Stuart! How crazy - he had a meeting in Las Vegas and decided to drive over, take us out to dinner and then drive back for his meeting! The photo shows us in the Rose Garden with a "musical tile chime". Very unique and challenging.



Susie and I tried to take advantage of any moment we could when I had a decent energy level. We explored the neighboring cities and found the quaint old downtown areas with unique shops and restaurants. We were also lucky enough to visit the famous Huntington Library Garden. Very lush and beautiful beyond description!
















In contrast, I've had my moments of wondering if I was human anymore - truly a weird sensation when you have a feeling that your body is an object in an experiment rather than just being yourself. I think the first wave of that feeling came over me when I opened the medicine cabinet and wondered "who are those for"? I've always been someone who just took an occasional multivitamin! I just keep taking the medicine as prescribed (thank God I have a pill organizer to keep track of this stuff!) Reality hits when you start losing your hair and then you have each set of doctors/nurses gazing at your incision giving advice on how to heal. It's all somewhat surreal. Even so, I'm happy to part of the trusted "experiment" here at City of Hope. My experience has been filled with amazingly gifted and compassionate physicians and other healthcare providers. I really can't emphasize how I truly know I came to the right place for my treatment!

I think Jaclyn Carey and Susie had the toughest job as caregivers out here. It's hard when the person you're caring for just feels tired - even the question of "what can I make you for lunch" isn't well received. It's just an overwhelming feeling of fatigue. I know this is only temporary. I am determined to march on -thanks to all of you - my family and friends who have provided SO much support through prayers, words and cards. All of your love is strengthening me. It is God's love working through you. I have never felt afraid or alone. Words are insufficient at expressing my gratitude!

Thank you for your continued love and support!
Bridget

Another Week Down!

It's hard to express how much love and support I've received. I thank each and every one of you for your continued prayers!


My dear friend, Jaclyn Carey arrived after Mother's Day and stayed for the week. What a week...it just seemed that each day was unpredictable as far as energy. I guess I can say that the Drs. were right - the chemo and radiation can really wipe you out. Of course, I didn't think it would happen to me, but Jaclyn helped pull me through each and every day...from cottage repairs to reminding me to breath!

She also helped keep my spirits up by reading inspirational prayers and books. We had a wonderful time together. Thank you Jaclyn, words are inadequate to express my appreciation.

Of course with the lower energy levels together with some computer issues, I have not kept up the blog as much as I would like. Please keep up your prayers and note that the settings have been changed on the lbog so anyone should be able to post a comment without necessarily being a "member"...so your comments are always welcome. My address is also listed in a previous blog.

My energy may be lower but my faith is strong! My sister Susie is here, sister Peggy is coming this weekend and brining our youngest daughter Gretchen. I cannot wait to see her! Our other two kids, Ben and Adelyn are a bit too wrapped up with finishing school on a strong note but I'll see them in a few weeks.

The picture of the tasty treats is of frozen yogurt from the famous Pinkberry...California's trendy, yummy yogurt establishment. The flavor on the left is pomegranate green tea with fruit and vanilla with chocolate on the right. Mission accomplished Jaclyn!

Thank you again everyone!

Greatfully yours,

Bridget

Mother's Day - 2009

Happy Mother's Day! I was so lucky to spend the day with my sister, Peggy. Here we are in Pasadena once again (the car seems to like driving that way). We're in front of the City of Pasadena's Auditorium. We had a very relaxing/rejuvinating Mother's Day. We really laughed a lot and enjoyed each others company.

I received a special Mother's Day package from the kids & Tommy. We also took some time to do Skype (online video)...so it was really special. Thanks for all of the artistic cards, kids!

Cinco De Mayo Harp Concert

Harp music and Cinco De Mayo - seemed like an unlikely combination for some reason. Since everything seems a little unbelievable recently, why not? On May 5th, there was a Harp Concert offered in the Helford Hospital lobby. Sally and I attended the concert by Alfredo Rolando Ortiz (Renowned South American Harpist). Yes, as you know, I grew up in a home listening to harp music everyday...soothing angelic "Magic Fountain" music being played by my Irish mom, Marilyn. This harp concert completely opened my eyes to the Paraguayan harp. Alfredo - thank you for educating me!! I feel very naive that I didn't know Spanish harps and musical styles were developed throughout South America and Mexico. Completely different style and flavor than what I have experienced in listening to the harp. It is something to experience...check out this harp music - AMAZING!

http://www.youtube.com/AlfredoRolandoOrtiz

The City of Hope continues to be an amazing journey of healing. I truly feel like I'm being cared for by the best of the best in every area of my medical care... This past week was a big week...starting the oral chemotherapy, continuing daily radiation treatments, getting my stitches out (May 6th), etc. I feel like I'm getting into the thick of it...as it is a daily routine now to organize medications, making sure you're following "Doctor's Orders" (which there are many) and somehow keeping sane. As expected, my hair is falling out on the right side (where they radiate daily) and the radiation has made my incision very irritated on that side...therefore, I really didn't get all of the stitches out...just half of them for now. I will see Dr. Badie and one of his PA's, Roger, on Wednesday to finish the task. All in all it is going well and I continue to thank God for my skilled surgeon each morning I wake up to see that my left foot is working well! I don't ever want to take that for granted. There are so many patients at City of Hope facing serious illness and I pray for them as I know we all have our own cross to bear. I pray that each of us has a close connection with God and that we all remember to pray constantly.

"If God be for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)."

And as I ponder...I think, WOW, this really happened...I flew to CA and had the entire tumor removed...did a clinical trial and now I'm proceeding with the standard gold treatment with Temodar/radiation. I am so blessed to be here for this treatment plan with the best surgeon, best radiation oncologist and best medical oncologist...not to mention all of the other compassionate team members: nurses, radiation techs, etc. Yes, the daily radiation treatments are getting a bit mundane (and there are waves of fatigue/sadness) however, I want to get through the course of treatment so I can know that I've done everything possible to beat this. Along with all of this "clinical" treatment I have been lifted up and protected by all of your prayers. Please continue to pray for my energy to get through this chemo/radiation phase!

Friday night cousin Sally passed the baton on to my sister, Peggy. Sally was an amazing caregiver...not only medically speaking (Sally had some great PT suggestions for strengthening), but also just brightening my spirits. She even taught me how to knit. Don't laugh, it's harder than you think! .It's "official" now that Peggy has full responsibility of the one key to the cottage, one key to the Enterprise Tahoe and her bag is on the famous luggage rack. Funny ~ Tommy purchased a brand new luggage rack from a local hotel here so our caregivers would have a place to put their suitcase in this small cottage. We've always wanted one of those for our guest room at home.

On a lighter note, I was asked by the Marketing and Communications Department to help out with a promo video they are putting together to promote The City of Hope. They have a Yoga class (for patients and caregivers) that I have started participating in (gently/modified version)...so that was part of the shoot...then there was another shoot that featured the doctor/patient relationship. Dr. Badie and I were filmed having a conversation in a hospital walkway. It was a whole new experience to me. Quite a crew, Directors, cameramen, sound specialist, etc. (I think Dr. Badie has done this before...what was that movie you mentioned you were in?). I wish I had more photos to share, but the camera ran out of batteries. Maybe the Marketing and Communications department will forward a few shots to me or we will see the video when it's all done!

Anyways, it certainly is an honor to be asked to help promote such an oasis of healing and care. City of Hope is immersed with hope. As one brick bench sign reads : There Is Always Hope. Please never forget that no matter what you're facing. All of you, my friends, family and even strangers have given me hope. Thank you so much for your continued love and prayers!

The hardest part of this is being away from home and kids - Great job keeping focused on school and sports kids! As hard as this is, I know I came to the right place! We'll get through this. and will be stronger in the end...one day at a time.

Gratefully yours,

Bridget

P.S. Happy Mother's Day weekend!

May Is Here!

May is here - Spring has arrived! I've always looked forward to the month of May - buds on the trees, birds returning, the Kentucky Derby (always the first weekend in May), the excitement that Summer is around the corner!

This May has had all of this plus more...I was so happy to turn the calendar page to May this year...knowing that it meant one step closer to finishing my California medical stay. Don't get me wrong, my medical care has been superb and obviously I've had so much support from family and friends that it almost looks like I'm on some kind of vacation in California (site seeing daily, etc.). I really cannot explain how comforting it has been to have all of your prayers and support. As you know, Tommy was here the first two weeks, then my brother Stuart flew the kids out and stayed with me for a week. Stuart was quite the tour guide...I just buckled myself in the Tahoe and put my feet up. The California freeway is crazy...Stuart even suggested that maybe I should wear a helmet as we drive around! Ha! We safely made it to many exciting destinations after my daily radiation treatments. We just monitored my energy level and slowly made our way around. Some of the great destinations included: Hollywood, Rodeo Drive, Venice Beach, Malibu (lunch at Duke's), Santa Monica, Huntington Library Garden and the Pasadena Rose Bowl. Wow...it really does sound like a vacation, doesn't it? I guess I just want to input little reality here...Stuart attended the longest Drs. appt. ever reviewing the Clinical Study, what the next step is for the chemo/radiation, what to expect for side effects, etc. He took detailed notes on medication dosages, etc. Thank you Stuart, for walking with me daily to my radiation treatments, for just being there...it was just so amazing that you could actually take a full week to be with your sister during this crazy time. I'll never forget it!

So, taking the experimental drug for the clinical trial is over and now (starting today) I'm moving on to the next phase - the oral chemo medication and continuing to do the daily radiation treatments. It's a real milestone. I actually started taking the chemo medication on Saturday as instructed. I thought it would be a good "test" to see how I tolerated it as it can cause some people to feel very sick (I learned quickly that it is a good idea to take Zofran...the anti-nausea drug). About 1/2 hour after taking the Temodar (chemo) I felt seasick...yuck, that's the worst. I didn't actually get sick (thankfully). Thank goodness, my next caregiver had arrived. SallyAnn...my cousin! Sally took one look at me and ran to the nearest vending machine to purchase a Sprite...I ran to the medicine cabinet and took the Zofran. We got through it! Now I know just to take the Zofran & then the chemo...all of this has to be done on an empty stomach...an hour before radiation. So, this morning, I have followed this routine and we're about to walk to the radiation appointment. I guess I felt like I had to add some reality to this blog...it's really not a "vacation" out here even though the sites and wonderful distractions have been the silver lining in this stay.

Sally and I ventured out on Sunday to Old Town Pasadena (see us in front of Pasadena City Hall) and really enjoyed the atmosphere. It was a beautiful sunny day and Sally was an excellent driver on the California freeway. Of course, I wouldn't expect that she would have any trouble - Sally and her husband, Bob, spend their winters in Florida and navigate their way around the channels/ocean in Ft. Meyers...wow, I'm in good hands once again with my caregiver. Sally has also been brave enough to clean my incision twice a day which is key right now as the right side is irritated from the daily radiation.

Each morning I wake up and move my left leg/foot, touch each finger to my thumb and say a prayer of thanksgiving to God - I can do this! I will continue to march through this treatment! I know all of this would not be possible without Divine Intervention and all of your continued prayers. Thank you! Love to all, Bridget