Kid's Visit and Beyond

Tom writing here from our valley back in La Crosse. Bridget is doing great! She is tolerating radiation very well and is almost done taking the Valacyclovir that is part of the experimental treatment. She will start on Temodar at week's end or start of next week.

Please keep praying for her. Many are asking what they can do for us and that is the most important thing. Also, posting comments on the blog is great so she can read new messages or send her a written note. Please no gifts or food...just your encouraging words. Her family is keeping her well stocked with more food than one can eat. You can send cards or letters to: City of Hope, Attn. Bridget Hanchette/Cottage 131, 1500 E Duarte Blvd, Duarte, CA 91010.

This past weekend the kid's flew out with their Uncle Stuart (Bridget's brother...in back row of 3rd picture) for a long weekend and we are now back. It was great to be together as a family again and we had lots of fun. We saw Hollywood and Rodeo Drive...mostly a driveby which was quite enough. The next day we went to Venice Beach and enjoyed the ocean. Quite a cast of characters at these places. Mostly we hung out and just spent time together. Bridget's niece (Kristi), her husband (Antonio), and baby (Quinn) also stopped by for a visit having driven up from Phoenix (Sorry, the pictures of them are on the camera I left with Bridget). We also had a visit from some friends of ours from Tucson Arizona (Bert and Anne Williams) on Sunday morning who have been some stalwart prayer partners through all of this like so many of you (second picture). The first picture is of the girls on one of the magnificent trees on the grounds at City of Hope.

On Monday, the kids went with Bridget to her radiation appointment and were able to observe and learn about her treatment including seeing how Bridget gets positioned with the mesh mask on to hold her head in place while getting the treatment. It was good for them to see what Mom is up to each day with this. They also meant some of her caregivers who were so happy to meet the kids.

I left with the kids on Monday afternoon, leaving Bridget in the very capable hands of her brother Stuart. Stuart is an amazing guy and very curious. Upon his arrival, he immediately purchased maps of California and detailed maps of the area around Duarte. I am sure he will be showing Bridget many cool sights during his time there. Each week a new family member or friend will rotate through to stay with Bridget over the next four weeks. This will really break up the time for Bridget and keep her going. I will then head out for her last week there to be with her during her final appointments, get her packed up, and head home together.

I am writing this on Wednesday morning and heading back to the office for the first time in weeks this afternoon (This will be my last entry for a while. Its now all you Bridget). We have our incredible Identity Works staff to thank for our being able to focus on healing and family while they handled everything while we were both gone. You are an incredible group of people and we cannot thank you enough. Thanks team! I have to admit that it is tough to go back to work as I have been in such a different world now for weeks. I know it is going to take some adjusting. It seemed every time one walked out the door of our cottage at City of Hope, you were presented with another mini miracle or example of the best humanity has to offer...people at their best.

I came to enjoy doing the laundry there (something I have never enjoyed in the past) because every time I did, I would meet some person with amazing strength and faith whose story would provide additional inspiration and confidence for us to continue to walk our own path with confidence through this part of our life. The world would be a better place if we all had to rotate through places and times like these in order to really give us all perspective on what really matters in life. Trust me its not your bank account, your job, whether your kid's being treated fairly by the coach, and all of the other things we spend so much time fretting over each day. Of course at some point in time, we all do face challenges. I encourage you to face these challenges with an open mind and heart. You will find blessings there if you're open to them. Bridget's example has been such a gift to our family and I know you all as well. As usual, she is incredibly optimistic, positive, faithful, generous, and strong as she faces all of this.

There is so much to say, and yet I find myself unable to express it all right now. All I can say for now is that for anyone still wondering about many of the things that I too struggled with over the years in my faith journey such as why do bad things happen to good people, know that God is here and seen through the example of people like Bridget, seen through you all that are supporting her, seen through the staff at City of Hope, and the patients and families of those we have met. God is here, right here, right now. We just don't see or feel that connectedness often times because we are not present in our own life. We are thinking about what we have to do tomorrow or what we did wrong last week. We are over committed and overstressed mainly about all sorts of things that don't really matter. One thing I have really learned through all of this so far, is that if you want to experience God, you have to be present in this moment. The present moment is where you find and experience God's grace. Tragedy, illness, all those things we see as negative are fortunately or unfortunately often the only things "loud" enough to get our attention and put us in the moment. Suddenly all of that "stuff" we thought was so important in our lives is instantly not very important at all and there lo and behold there is God still waiting for us.

There have been so many blessings, so many small and large examples of God walking with us these past weeks that I can hardly begin to tell you. You all are part of that blessing. Other examples include: having made it through the first surgical procedure just days after the diagnosis to wake up with Bridget and have us both almost simultaneously announce that these have been the best days of our lives. Or looking back to a moment just 2 weeks before getting blindsided with this news, when my friend Craig Chapmen gave me a CD after a discussion we had on faith in the midst of terrible events in the lives of good people. The sermon was by a well-known preacher in which he was telling a story of a friend of his who had lost a child and could not pull himself out of a tailspin of why me self-pity long after the loss. He shockingly said to this friend, "Why not you?" and proceeded to explain. At first I was horrified by what he had said to this man and I could not stop thinking about it for days. Over the course of the next few weeks, I came to peace with how he had counseled this man and felt an understanding of the higher meaning that was being conveyed. Shortly thereafter, I found myself in the ER with Bridget expecting her to get a prescription for a migraine, when we were told that she had a brain tumor. That sermon on a CD about "why not you", a few weeks earlier somehow now girded me, gave me a resolve and strength in the face of an unexpected event like this, and I asked that God give me Bridget's burden to carry. Coincidence that Craig gave me that CD or was it God working in our life? I might have said happy coincidence a few weeks ago, but having experienced one "coincidence" after another each and every day over the past few weeks, I cannot call this or any of the other experiences we have been having anything like coincidence. Its God's grace pure and simple.

Lay in bed next to your wife with fear in every pore of your body over what she and your family is facing and have her cry with pure joy in the night as she tells you she is hearing every one of your prayers right then...hearing your words, your voice complete with volume control wash over her and tell me that's not God. Walk with your wife in a rose garden the day after being released from the ICU and successful brain surgery when a stranger strides up to you on a mission to tell you her story of cancer, declare her faith, and then proceed to tell your wife that she needs to take care of herself, shouldn't skip lunch (which Bridget often would), not to worry so much about our kids, how this will make them stronger, and various other things that Bridget seemed to need to hear as though this woman (Vera) could look right through Bridget, and tell me that's not God.

I think about Bridget's brother (Stuart), cousin (Sally), friend (Jaclyn), sisters (Peggy & Susie) that are rotating through to take turns being with Bridget each week while I'm away and I see how perfect a fit they are with each of their particular attributes for that particular week with Bridget. For example strong, sensible, and curious Stuart to be with her the day her family leaves, perfect. He will give her strength and take her to interesting places to keep her engaged in the present. Perfect fits for the perfect time during her treatment. Each one perfectly placed at the right time. I didn't pick when they would come or even who they would be.

Can you say harps? (See earlier blog entry) Hi God. Just example after example, right down to the day we left.

The day the kids and I left, we were being picked up by a car service (GoSedan) for a ride to the airport. The driver got out (Levestor), looked right at Bridget and asked how she was doing. He explained that he was a pastor at an inner city church in LA and that he drove on the side to earn money for his family. He wrote Bridget's name down and said that he would add her to the prayer chain at his church. Awesome more prayers for Bridget! We had a nice conversation on faith on the way to the airport. After helping take our bags out of the trunk, he addressed Ben, Adelyn, and Gretchen one at a time and told them how good they were doing, would continue to do, and how he would pray for us all and that he would be there for us any time of day or night. He gave us his card from his church. Are you listening? God is talking here and now.......if you're listening. Well I am listening. I am determined as I go back to work, to continue to keep myself present even as I plan for tomorrow and get wrapped up into the "real world" because I now know that the present moment is where we find God....not yesterday, not tomorrow, not 5 minutes from now, but in this present moment. That is why prayer is so important. Prayer puts us in the present moment if we can turn our brain away from the tasks that are constantly running through it.

Shortly after Bridget's diagnosis, as I prayed (thankful that I wasn't bitter as I might have been had I not meditated on the message of "Why not you" in the days leading up to this) I heard and felt God telling me, "Who else would I use to try to keep bringing this world back to me if not people like Bridget that have the ability to touch so many people in a positive way?" It gave me comfort. I have since heard stories from some of you of how Bridget's journey and example has brought you or others back to their faith confirming this. Bridget you have been and continue to be a shining example of what God can do right here, right now if we are just conscious enough to see it. Thank you. I love you.

Finally, I literally just noticed that our part-time driver to the airport and full-time pastor's card that he gave us has the perfect scripture verse printed on it to end this blog entry. Bridget I am giving you "the look of knowing". God is great! God bless all of you. Here it is: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Rev. 3:20 NKJV

Photo Tour

Hi everyone, Tom here. Just a quick note to let you know that if you are interested one of the following links should give you a photo tour of some of the sites we have been seeing while out here. I think you'll see just how healing this place is not only from the excellent medical care but also the beautiful grounds and approach to treating the whole person...body, mind, and spirit.


The first pictures are with Bridget's amazingly skilled and humble neurosurgeon, Dr. Badie, then pictures from the grounds (see the white "cottages" we are staying in), Bridget with the tye-die shirt and white hat after the first day of radiation, and a relaxing day at Santa Anita horse race track on Sunday. If someone would have told me that the first week's itinerary would include major brain surgery on Tuesday followed by a day at the races on Sunday, I would have said they were nuts.....but that is just how it happened. Amazing and what an amazing setting with San Gabriel mountains as a backdrop. Thanks to my cousin Chris (Quinn) Hanchette for being our guide that day and helping in numerous other ways. What can you say about awesome cousins, Bridget is blessed with all sorts of fantastic cousins....that would take me days to write about. Thank you McCormick cousins, you amazing people!

Here are the links (both are the same pictures, just listing both to hope that at least one of them works. Be sure you have lots of time and a good internet connection as there are many pictures:

http://cityofhopeandsantaanita.shutterfly.com/

http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=cityofhopeandsantaanita&page=cityofhopeandsantaanita&album=23

Stand By Me

Hi Everyone! Bridget here attempting my first post on the blog. It's all new to me, the blog, the tumor, the journey! So here goes...

You know when something major happens and it just sends you reeling? It seems there is no time - just space - and you have major flashbacks...sometimes to your early childhood. Well, sit back as we go back in time a bit...so much can happen so fast and maybe this is why our minds work this way to somehow try to process the information at hand. I think our mind wonders and wants to figure out the series of events that could lead to such a diagnosis.

Back in college, Tommy & I decided to join the Sailing Club. (just so you know his whole family calls him Tommy - it's not just a wife thing. Many times at work someone will say "Tom" and I will wonder who that is - For me that's the work name). Really neither of us know anything about sailing even though I come from a family of Irish Sailors...the McCormicks. My Mom's side of the family (her brothers and now the next generation) are big into sailing...all I remember from this childhood experience is "duck, here comes the boom!" But for whatever reason, we joined the Sailing Club and a fleet of six sailboats set out from Florida to Bimini - the closest and smallest Bahama island. We set out at 3 pm and sailed through the night. My mom's advice before leaving was to stay on the deck as long as I could and help navigate to avoid being seasick. She was right. I was the last one up there as we sailed in the dark and the rains were pouring down. Finally, the captain asked that I hold the wheel while he went under to get his rain gear. I couldn't believe what I was doing!

When morning came and we settled our sailboat into the calm tropical bay I realized why we did this. The dazzling deep tropical blue water was so clear! You could see to the bottom. I couldn't wait to go swimming and experience the islands! We went diving later that day. Tommy was already Scuba Certified as were a few others on our boat (there were six of us total on the boat - including our Captain-Chic Perger, the best of the fleet). I was just happy snorkeling along...the sand, sun and tropical fish were so incredibly vibrant. Later that day we went to a new spot and Chic showed us how to hunt for lobster. Tommy loved this and was good at it. I swam above with a netted bag and watched with my snorkel/mask as Tommy would dive down and use the harpoon to get the lobster and then swim up and place it in the bag. It was later that sunny afternoon when those that were Scuba Certified dove down deeper and came up all excited about the sea turtles and grouper, etc. that I thought maybe I am missing something just snorkeling. When we returned back to La Crosse Tommy really encouraged me to get certified. Well, I did, eventually, it was in Marquette, MI. I took the class at NMU (Northern Michigan University). They had a nice pool and a great instructor. Little did I know that I would be doing two open water dives - in December - in Lake Superior to pass the class. Aside from giving childbirth I think this was one of my greatest accomplishments - entering the cold black waters with a wetsuit on as the snow gently came down. The instructor claimed the Lake Superior water temperature varied only slightly between summer and winter there. Of course I had a dive partner - a robust guy who arrived with a Santa hat on. Funny. It was a real "mind game" entering that water, one that I had to conquer, one that prepared me for other dives and other challenges.

I've been a swimmer my whole life. Because we hung out at our Grandpa's lake house in Madison, WI every Sunday as kids - all of the cousins sailing and swimming, fishing, water skiing, etc. I did the lifeguard thing, swimming instructor, etc. However, there is one concept I realized I needed to work on regarding snorkeling/Scuba diving- "Even though you can't see, you can still breath"- every diver needs to remember this - just in case your mask gets kicked off when you're 40 feet under the ocean! Just because your mask comes off, the regulator with O2 keeps working! This really took some thinking and practice. And good thing I did practice because later as Tommy and I did multiple ship wreck dives in the Great Lakes and various other tropical dives I would need to clear my mask at various depths. The trust and communication between Tommy and I as dive partners was incredibly strong. I really believe these diving experiences developed our steadfast companionship and intimate connection. The utmost in respect and communication. He never left my side under the sea and always held my hand - directing me to see the most beautiful exotic life.

So, how does all this have to with me being diagnosed with a brain tumor? As I said, the information came on so quickly. I had these terrible headaches which I was writing off as migraines or something...just trying to treat them on my own with Advil and persevere at work and home. Then when it was intolerable and we went to the ER , and from there to getting a biopsy, to learn the news...I just felt compelled to literally dive out of the hospital and run. I was not going to be a statistic of someone with a malignant brain tumor. I had been thrown a curve ball and it landed in the wrong brain! The truth is, I don't fall into the age group that generally gets this type of tumor...this makes me even more confident that I can beat this. So after shaking the Neurosurgeon's hand and thanking him for doing the biopsy without causing any paralysis we planned a family trip to Discovery Cove - where EVERYONE that arrives puts on a wetsuit and dives in!

Getting launched into this "brain tumor journey" has been a separate journey for each of our family members. Gretchen, Adelyn, Ben, Tommy & I are all on our own personal journeys of discovery and survival as we walk through our daily lives. This is why going to Discovery Cove and entering the same water at the same time was soooooooo healing. It's hard to describe the magic of the water. Discovery Cove may sound commercialized or fake compared to the real ocean, when in fact, once you enter the warm lazy river or the huge salt water lagoon you are lost in the natural immersion. Just take a moment to imagine it. You're floating along buoyantly due to the rubber wetsuit - feeling the soothing water, floating along, enjoying the quietness of being under the water, hearing your breaths in and out and visually taking in the underwater world. After a while you climb up and out a few steps and enter through a castle-like door into a beautiful aviary. There are exotic birds that actually land on you and eat fruit out of the cups that you hold. Next we made our way over to the large Salt Water lagoon. This water is a bit chillier and you really become aware of your presence in God's creation. The neon colors, the way the schools of fish swim in synchronicity, the leopard sea rays below gliding along effortlessly. When I entered this water on April 4th of this year with my family it united us on this journey. I cried and cried salt water tears into my mask as I gave God thanks that I was able to celebrate my birthday with my kids and husband - swimming and walking after having to go through an unplanned biopsy surgery. The scar on my head was mostly healed as I swam around...the salt water and sun felt like salve. The tears kept flowing and finally I took my mask off and connected with Gretchen and Adelyn on a rocky ledge above the vibrant lagoon. They were enjoying it as much as me. It was amazing to all of us how beautiful God's creatures and colors are! This salt water united us as a family on this journey, which is what we needed before Tommy and I had to fly out here to California on Easter Sunday. Kids - I am so proud of how well all of you are doing - Keep up the great work!

As I continued to swim in the saltwater and cry I began praying for all of you who have been standing by me through this experience in prayer. I cried and gave thanksgiving for all of you who have put my name on prayer lists and who have continually prayed daily for me. Words are insufficient to describe my gratitude for this. I am overwhelmed by the immense power of prayer,the peace, the protection and strength I feel. The prayer chains have literally spanned across the world now due to all of your love. This is like the salt water that connects all nations and all of us. We are one and God is good. All is well.From Bimini, to Discovery Cove, to City of Hope...I think I am starting to catch up with what is going on in my life! However, I still have moments when I'm wondering -What am I doing out here? Staying at Hope Village in a little white cottage healing from major brain surgery. Wow. I am still reeling from watching Tommy methodically make flight arrangements for Florida, hotel reservations, car rentals, arranging neighbors and friends to take care of the homestead while we were gone, etc. Then on to the next phase, arranging flights etc again for the California trip, not to mention all of the details in being a patient advocate and caregiver as I healed from the biopsy and needed to make sure I had every pre-op test to clear for surgery once we arrived in California. The logistics are mind boggling! However, for those of you who know Tommy - one of his greatest strengths is perseverance. He doesn't stop until it's done! I have observed him accomplish projects at work and home that are beyond belief - truly the work of 5 men. As they say our strengths can also be our weaknesses. Working this hard really isn't the best approach and I think Tommy will be in a healthier balance now that his journey to City of Hope is underway.

Tommy has been an incredible patient advocate, nurse, steadfast protector and healer on this journey. Our love has exponentially grown during all of this. He claims that I'm the amazing one and I have to say it is he who's the amazing one. Being the caregiver is not easy and he has done it so effortlessly. Tommy has not left my side during this. He even slept in the ICU bed with me at Gundersen! Out here he has attended each and every appointment by my side. He has done the research, made the appointments, attended the appointments, followed up with watching me take each pill. What a husband I have. I am so blessed. I have to say that when we went through "marriage preparation" back in 1988 our wonderful priest and friend instructed us well. First of all, he recognized that we were truly Best Friends prior to lovers. This is huge. Then from his advice we have always taken time to Share (How are you feeling today honey?) Not just Dialogue - (did you get the milk and newspaper?). Ray Runde, you have guided and given Tommy and I the handles to climb this mountain!

I want to thank all of you - you are all caregivers in my mind. Thank you for all of your prayers and support during this six week stint in California. To Grandma and Grandpa, Susie, Peggy, Stuart, Greg who have helped at our home during this time. To the Hartig family for guiding us to Dr. Benham Badie and for your unending prayers & friendship, to Heather for the family photos that are are keeping me going out here visually, to Roncalli Newman and others who have delivered food to our home. To Tommy's brothers Steve and Billy for being here and standing by him during the surgery. To our West Salem community and friends who are getting our kids to and from practices. The list goes on and I am afraid that once you start its like the Academy Awards, you don't want to forget anyone, but you know who you are. All of you are caregivers - and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support.

I will post shorter updates as the weeks go on here at City of Hope. So far my experience here has been indescribable due to multiple miracles happening. I'm thankful Tommy has captured some of them and shared them up until now. The grounds are beautiful and this little cottage is only a few blocks away from all of the appointments/hospital. As far as how I feel - I am doing well and progressing. My incision has pain and I am managing that well. I have been on a drug called Dexamethasone (right from the start - it reduced the brain swelling and relieved the terrible headaches) but makes me very revved up and makes sleeping difficult. It also makes you feel puffy. I am finally weaning off of this (because I don't have a tumor -yea!). I am so thankful that I'm weaning off this and heading into the next phase of radiation with oral chemo. I'm ready to keep the ball rolling with this progressive treatment. I'm also happy that I am contributing to the research of this clinical trial that will hopefully reveal new treatment options for the future. I start radiation therapy on Tuesday and will receive this everyday (with weekends off). My brother, Stuart, is coming out here with all three kids for a visit and I am SO excited for that. I know this will give my recovery a boost. I miss you kids - get out here as soon as you can!

God Bless each and everyone of you and your families and friends! Love and peace to all! Here is a link that shows just as salt water connects the continents, music is universal as well....truly God's gift. http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741


Gratefully yours,
Bridget Mary Hanchette

Bridget is out of the Hospital!!!

Tom writing again....Just 2 short days after major brain surgery, Bridget was released from the hospital amazing all of us. As my Dad keeps saying, "Glory be to God"! She is doing fantastic and is back at our nice cottage on the grounds here at City of Hope...as I type this she is sleeping soundly. I am so glad for this as sleep has not come easily for her over the past weeks.

We both have been so connected throughout this experience with a sense of peace and knowing that God is with us. I have no words to describe this and I'm probably repeating myself from earlier blogs but it has been a life altering experience these past weeks. We have been giving thanks to God for this experience throughout and we have continued to receive signs that He is with us on each and every step. While some of these signs have been on a grand scale such as on the dolphin encounter when Bridget was being given the Happy Birthday boat buoy from the dolphin...I didn't mention earlier that just before she stepped forward to receive the buoy from the dolphin a skywriter plane had begun spelling out something in the sky but we couldn't tell what it was at first. After Bridget received the buoy and was standing there with tears of joy, our son Ben, nudged me and said, "Look Dad, it says...." and there in beautiful backdrop to Bridget were the words written in white on the deep blue sky..."Jesus Loves You". Bridget and I looked at each other and just had to laugh out loud. While this was really a sign on a grand scale, we have had just tons of small intimate signs along the way from God that we understand instantly without having to exchange words, we just look at each other knowingly and smile giving thanks to God. Please don't misunderstand this to mean signs that we have experienced because things now seem to be going well with this journey, these have been signs throughout this process and this knowing that God's grace is all around us is just a constant knowing regardless of whether there is good news or not and that has allowed us to walk this journey in a quiet confidence of peace. Psalm 23 sums this up better than I ever could: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2023

Today we had probably the most poignant example of God being with us and giving us a gift of his presence than anything we have ever experienced in our lives. Many of you know that Bridget's Mom (Marilyn) played the harp exquisitely. Some of my best memories are of sitting on the screened in porch of her parents country home eating a fresh salad from her garden (she also loved to garden) while listening to her play the harp, often with the sound of crickets accompanying her. Needless to say harps are a strong symbol for Bridget (and her family) representing her Mom who died together with Bridget's Dad in a car accident not long after we were married. That was very tough when there is no warning and no chance to say goodbye. Anyway, prior to leaving home to travel out here Bridget and her sister went to St. Rose Convent where the Sisters of Perpetual Adoration have been praying nonstop for over 150 years (and they have included Bridget in those prayers thanks to many of you contacting them). When they were about to leave, there was an alcove that seemed to be beckoning them so they went toward it and there was a full size gorgeous harp. It gave Bridget a sense that her Mom was with her on this journey.

Later we were at the Minneapolis airport to fly out to California for all of this and Bridget unexpectedly ran into her sister Susie near the gate. As they were standing there, someone came by pulling a full size harp...they looked at each other in amazement. Today after Bridget was released from the ICU/hospital, we were standing waiting on the elevator so we could leave, and then almost as if in slow motion, the elevator doors opened and there before us was a wonderful lady with a harp! We just gave each other "the look" and laughed with joy at God's grace. Have any of you ever seen this many harps out in public? Its not like they are some common instrument like a guitar that is easy to cart around.

Bear with me here, the story is not over. About two hours later we were back at the clinic meeting with another wonderful staff member here, Candy, the nurse in radiation oncology who was explaining what to expect when the radiation treatments start. Once again, Bridget was connecting on a very personal and spiritual level with this wonderful person. As we were about to wrap things up, a harp began playing right next to the open door of the exam room we were in. It was like time stood still, Candy the nurse stopped talking, as she could see from Bridget's expression that something very important was happening here. Bridget began sobbing, I began crying. These were happy, blessed tears of joy at this gift Bridget was being given that her sweet Mom is with her, God is with her...the harp continued playing, I recognized the song to be Con Te Partiro (I'll Go With You) by Andrea Bocelli. We tried several times to get back to finishing up with Candy as she was very busy and needed to see other patients, but she continued to take time to nurture Bridget body and soul and let her experience that eternal blissful moment. We just kept lifting out heads, closing our eyes and soaking in that wonderful music to our soul as the tears of joy kept flowing. Wow!!! People I am generally not a real cryer, my kids probably have seen me cry once when we buried our first dog....but there is nothing else one can do when you experience this kind of Grace first hand.

The song is very special and very powerful, you have likely heard it. It is sung in Italian, here are some of the lyrics translated in English:

When I'm alone
I dream on the horizon
and words fail.....

I'll go with you, to places I never
saw and shared with you, now, yes
I shall experience them. I'll go with you
on ships across the seas....
with you I shall experience them.

Yes, I know that you are with me; you my
moon, are here with me, my sun, you are here with me, with me, with me....
with you I shall experience them again. I'll go with you, I with you.

Here is Andrea performing this song on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcrfvP11Hbo

As for me, I am slow dancing to this song with Bridget in our room now. Maybe you'll want to try that too with the love of your life. Live in the moment and there are no words!

Day After Surgery

Tom here late at night reflecting and trying to get my mind around what has gone on here. I woke up this morning and went jogging in the sunlight to burn off some of the nervous energy that had accumulated....wow did that do the trick. With flowers and blooms everywhere, I couldn't help but have the Genesis story reverberate in my mind....it was so nicely told at the Easter Vigil Mass we attended with family and our parish last Saturday evening before flying out here the next day on Easter. Also called Bridget's sister Susie and put her on speaker phone in the midst of the run to lead a prayer of thanksgiving. It was very special and it is a special time to be going through all of this with the hopefulness we are reminded of at and during the continuing Easter season.

Upon arrival at the ICU, the nurses told me Bridget was doing laps around the halls, she had already eaten breakfast when I entered the room and there she was with that look of wonderment and thankfulness that has been on her face ever since I first saw her after surgery. Bottom line is that last night was no fluke...she is doing AMAZINGLY well. She doesn't even have a scratchy throat or voice from being intubated....kudos to to her anesthesiologist, Dr. Chang who took good care of her as she was being operated on yesterday. Two of my brothers have been here since the surgery and they have been an immense source of support during these last few days. Thank you Billy and Steve!

Later in the day Dr. Badie tracked us down in a waiting area overlooking the mountains (Yes, Bridget was on another walk about the place)....he wanted to go over the results of the postsurgery MRI that Bridget had done just an hour or two before. This new MRI confirms that the tumor was fully removed! Proof positive. This puts Bridget in a much better position for even better results with the rest of her treatment and is the BEST POSSIBLE result we could have hoped for from this surgery especially when combined with the fact that the surgery did not result in any sort of paralysis. She was given the okay to check out of the ICU after only one night and it appears she may be getting released from the hospital entirely Thursday after just having had major brain surgery on Tuesday! She will be back to our cool cottage on the grounds here.

We are so humbly thankful, words cannot express. We are in a place where lots of people come with hope in their hearts and resiliency of spirit. You see it on display everywhere here...from bald children pushing IV racks while they walk outside to get fresh air to people in ICU beds of all ages and sizes. There is a spirit of shared experience here that is holy. I walked down a long hallway before leaving the hospital tonight. A beautiful African-American woman was walking beside me...the small talk led to introductions (Jenna)...her telling me she was here for two months while her daughter (Carmen) recovered from a bone marrow transplant for which this wonderful mother was the donor. I hugged her and told her how awesome she is and told her I would pray for them. Please include them in your prayers as well. She asked what I was doing here and that led to her promising to pray for Bridget and family. She said something about how we are all connected here....again back to that shared experience that I can only describe as holy.

It made me think of something earlier in the morning when a dignified, quiet, oriental woman quietly cleaned the floor in Bridget's room. I had just asked Bridget if she was okay with seeing my two brothers who wanted to say hi to her. Her reply was a forceful "Of course! I'm not worried what I look like, I'm just so glad to be alive!" She continued, "I'm happy for this moment and I have no ego." To that the tiny, focused woman cleaning the floor quickly glanced up with a piercingly gleeful look in her eyes. She nodded her head over and over and with a heavy Chinese accent laughingly said in broken English, "yes, yes, live in moment, no ego" and then continued to clean and quietly laugh as though confirming that Bridget had said something quite profound......and she had.

Successful Surgery!!!

Tom here again with the best possible news we could have hoped for...Bridget's surgery went great! Thank you God, thank you each and everyone for your prayers, and HUGE thank you to Dr. Badie and all of Bridget's other care givers during this journey! Special thanks to our good friend Dr. Greg Hartig for directing us to Dr. Badie and City of Hope (so appropriately named!).

Dr. Badie informed me that he was able to resect the tumor and he also injected the virus for the clinical trial that has many compelling potential benefits. I have only seen Bridget briefly in the recovery room, but with what she termed a "turbin" on her head and in a strong and very cute drugged up voice she immediately said, "Hey, I've got something to show you!" and she proceeded to hold up her left hand and touch the tips of each finger to her thumb showing that neurologically she had full function of her left hand and arm (tumor was on the right side of brain and that controls motor function on the left side of body). Dr. Badie had mentioned prior to surgery that the only thing he thought Bridget may experience could have been an initial effect to her left foot that may require a brace to help hold her foot up when walking for a while, but she also kicked off the covers to show me that all her toes wiggled and her ankle moved her foot up and down just fine. We looked at each other in thankful amazement and laughed out loud while crying happy tears! We couldn't have asked for a better result from this surgery! We are so, so thankful.

Next stop is ICU for a few days, and then regular medical floor for a few days before returning to our cool cottage on the premises here. She will be taking Acyclovir for 14 days as part of the virus clinical trial to try to kill off remaining tumor cells that take up the virus that was injected into her brain (it is also postulated that this virus approach could make the cells more suseptible to radiation). As soon as she gets clearance, she will begin radiation treatments and be taking a standard oral chemotherapeutic agent that is very well tolerated, both over the course of the next six weeks.

The above picture was just taken on Friday by our good friend (and very talented photographer) Heather Sysimaki. Not only did she quickly take many awesome pictures, but somehow managed to provide us with a beautiful photo album to take with us to California for Bridget to look at all the time while she recovers. Bridget has said many times that the toughest part of

this for her is being away from our kids, so this really helps. Thank you Heather.

Thank you to everyone for the meals for our kids especially now our Roncalli Newman Church members who are now providing meals for our kids while we are away. Thank you, thank you, each and everyone of you, many of whom we have never met for all of your support and prayers during this. Words cannot express our appreciation. Please continue your prayers as Bridget continues to show us all how challenges such as this can be handled with grace, unshakable faith, and continued concern and giving for others even as she faces this personal challenge. I knew she was amazing when I married her, but she has really taken it to another level here. I am in awe of her optimistism, strength, peacefulness, and connectedness with God and the eternal.

We're Here!

We are at City of Hope, Bridget's surgeon and the rest of the medical team are fantastic! The grounds are beautiful with the San Gabriel Mountains in the background and seemingly every type of tree, shrub and plant flowering in the springtime air filling it with fragrance! Bridget is now in surgery...we are humbly confident and feel God's grace surrounding us constantly. Thank you for the prayers and please keep them going! Will update as soon as I can. Tom

Heading to California

Hi this is Tom writing. We set up a blog to try to keep people informed (Thanks Ryan!).

The pictures are from our blissful family vacation to Florida this past week. That's Bridget receiving a boat bumper that reads "Happy Birthday Bridget" from one the dolphins at Discovery Cove...she was very surprised and overwhelmed with joy at the experience.

We're off to California on Sunday, April 12th. Check out Bridget's surgeon: http://www.cityofhope.org/directory/people/badie-behnam/Pages/default.aspx

Monday is full of all day appointments for preop workups, meeting with specialists, learning about the clinical trial:
http://clinicaltrials.coh.org/study_display.aspx?pid=07107&lan=EN
As well as new MRI's, CAT scans in preparation for the surgery.

Bridget should be in surgery first thing in the morning on Tuesday.

Thank you and keep up the prayers, they are working!

Tom & Bridget.