Kid's Visit and Beyond

Tom writing here from our valley back in La Crosse. Bridget is doing great! She is tolerating radiation very well and is almost done taking the Valacyclovir that is part of the experimental treatment. She will start on Temodar at week's end or start of next week.

Please keep praying for her. Many are asking what they can do for us and that is the most important thing. Also, posting comments on the blog is great so she can read new messages or send her a written note. Please no gifts or food...just your encouraging words. Her family is keeping her well stocked with more food than one can eat. You can send cards or letters to: City of Hope, Attn. Bridget Hanchette/Cottage 131, 1500 E Duarte Blvd, Duarte, CA 91010.

This past weekend the kid's flew out with their Uncle Stuart (Bridget's brother...in back row of 3rd picture) for a long weekend and we are now back. It was great to be together as a family again and we had lots of fun. We saw Hollywood and Rodeo Drive...mostly a driveby which was quite enough. The next day we went to Venice Beach and enjoyed the ocean. Quite a cast of characters at these places. Mostly we hung out and just spent time together. Bridget's niece (Kristi), her husband (Antonio), and baby (Quinn) also stopped by for a visit having driven up from Phoenix (Sorry, the pictures of them are on the camera I left with Bridget). We also had a visit from some friends of ours from Tucson Arizona (Bert and Anne Williams) on Sunday morning who have been some stalwart prayer partners through all of this like so many of you (second picture). The first picture is of the girls on one of the magnificent trees on the grounds at City of Hope.

On Monday, the kids went with Bridget to her radiation appointment and were able to observe and learn about her treatment including seeing how Bridget gets positioned with the mesh mask on to hold her head in place while getting the treatment. It was good for them to see what Mom is up to each day with this. They also meant some of her caregivers who were so happy to meet the kids.

I left with the kids on Monday afternoon, leaving Bridget in the very capable hands of her brother Stuart. Stuart is an amazing guy and very curious. Upon his arrival, he immediately purchased maps of California and detailed maps of the area around Duarte. I am sure he will be showing Bridget many cool sights during his time there. Each week a new family member or friend will rotate through to stay with Bridget over the next four weeks. This will really break up the time for Bridget and keep her going. I will then head out for her last week there to be with her during her final appointments, get her packed up, and head home together.

I am writing this on Wednesday morning and heading back to the office for the first time in weeks this afternoon (This will be my last entry for a while. Its now all you Bridget). We have our incredible Identity Works staff to thank for our being able to focus on healing and family while they handled everything while we were both gone. You are an incredible group of people and we cannot thank you enough. Thanks team! I have to admit that it is tough to go back to work as I have been in such a different world now for weeks. I know it is going to take some adjusting. It seemed every time one walked out the door of our cottage at City of Hope, you were presented with another mini miracle or example of the best humanity has to offer...people at their best.

I came to enjoy doing the laundry there (something I have never enjoyed in the past) because every time I did, I would meet some person with amazing strength and faith whose story would provide additional inspiration and confidence for us to continue to walk our own path with confidence through this part of our life. The world would be a better place if we all had to rotate through places and times like these in order to really give us all perspective on what really matters in life. Trust me its not your bank account, your job, whether your kid's being treated fairly by the coach, and all of the other things we spend so much time fretting over each day. Of course at some point in time, we all do face challenges. I encourage you to face these challenges with an open mind and heart. You will find blessings there if you're open to them. Bridget's example has been such a gift to our family and I know you all as well. As usual, she is incredibly optimistic, positive, faithful, generous, and strong as she faces all of this.

There is so much to say, and yet I find myself unable to express it all right now. All I can say for now is that for anyone still wondering about many of the things that I too struggled with over the years in my faith journey such as why do bad things happen to good people, know that God is here and seen through the example of people like Bridget, seen through you all that are supporting her, seen through the staff at City of Hope, and the patients and families of those we have met. God is here, right here, right now. We just don't see or feel that connectedness often times because we are not present in our own life. We are thinking about what we have to do tomorrow or what we did wrong last week. We are over committed and overstressed mainly about all sorts of things that don't really matter. One thing I have really learned through all of this so far, is that if you want to experience God, you have to be present in this moment. The present moment is where you find and experience God's grace. Tragedy, illness, all those things we see as negative are fortunately or unfortunately often the only things "loud" enough to get our attention and put us in the moment. Suddenly all of that "stuff" we thought was so important in our lives is instantly not very important at all and there lo and behold there is God still waiting for us.

There have been so many blessings, so many small and large examples of God walking with us these past weeks that I can hardly begin to tell you. You all are part of that blessing. Other examples include: having made it through the first surgical procedure just days after the diagnosis to wake up with Bridget and have us both almost simultaneously announce that these have been the best days of our lives. Or looking back to a moment just 2 weeks before getting blindsided with this news, when my friend Craig Chapmen gave me a CD after a discussion we had on faith in the midst of terrible events in the lives of good people. The sermon was by a well-known preacher in which he was telling a story of a friend of his who had lost a child and could not pull himself out of a tailspin of why me self-pity long after the loss. He shockingly said to this friend, "Why not you?" and proceeded to explain. At first I was horrified by what he had said to this man and I could not stop thinking about it for days. Over the course of the next few weeks, I came to peace with how he had counseled this man and felt an understanding of the higher meaning that was being conveyed. Shortly thereafter, I found myself in the ER with Bridget expecting her to get a prescription for a migraine, when we were told that she had a brain tumor. That sermon on a CD about "why not you", a few weeks earlier somehow now girded me, gave me a resolve and strength in the face of an unexpected event like this, and I asked that God give me Bridget's burden to carry. Coincidence that Craig gave me that CD or was it God working in our life? I might have said happy coincidence a few weeks ago, but having experienced one "coincidence" after another each and every day over the past few weeks, I cannot call this or any of the other experiences we have been having anything like coincidence. Its God's grace pure and simple.

Lay in bed next to your wife with fear in every pore of your body over what she and your family is facing and have her cry with pure joy in the night as she tells you she is hearing every one of your prayers right then...hearing your words, your voice complete with volume control wash over her and tell me that's not God. Walk with your wife in a rose garden the day after being released from the ICU and successful brain surgery when a stranger strides up to you on a mission to tell you her story of cancer, declare her faith, and then proceed to tell your wife that she needs to take care of herself, shouldn't skip lunch (which Bridget often would), not to worry so much about our kids, how this will make them stronger, and various other things that Bridget seemed to need to hear as though this woman (Vera) could look right through Bridget, and tell me that's not God.

I think about Bridget's brother (Stuart), cousin (Sally), friend (Jaclyn), sisters (Peggy & Susie) that are rotating through to take turns being with Bridget each week while I'm away and I see how perfect a fit they are with each of their particular attributes for that particular week with Bridget. For example strong, sensible, and curious Stuart to be with her the day her family leaves, perfect. He will give her strength and take her to interesting places to keep her engaged in the present. Perfect fits for the perfect time during her treatment. Each one perfectly placed at the right time. I didn't pick when they would come or even who they would be.

Can you say harps? (See earlier blog entry) Hi God. Just example after example, right down to the day we left.

The day the kids and I left, we were being picked up by a car service (GoSedan) for a ride to the airport. The driver got out (Levestor), looked right at Bridget and asked how she was doing. He explained that he was a pastor at an inner city church in LA and that he drove on the side to earn money for his family. He wrote Bridget's name down and said that he would add her to the prayer chain at his church. Awesome more prayers for Bridget! We had a nice conversation on faith on the way to the airport. After helping take our bags out of the trunk, he addressed Ben, Adelyn, and Gretchen one at a time and told them how good they were doing, would continue to do, and how he would pray for us all and that he would be there for us any time of day or night. He gave us his card from his church. Are you listening? God is talking here and now.......if you're listening. Well I am listening. I am determined as I go back to work, to continue to keep myself present even as I plan for tomorrow and get wrapped up into the "real world" because I now know that the present moment is where we find God....not yesterday, not tomorrow, not 5 minutes from now, but in this present moment. That is why prayer is so important. Prayer puts us in the present moment if we can turn our brain away from the tasks that are constantly running through it.

Shortly after Bridget's diagnosis, as I prayed (thankful that I wasn't bitter as I might have been had I not meditated on the message of "Why not you" in the days leading up to this) I heard and felt God telling me, "Who else would I use to try to keep bringing this world back to me if not people like Bridget that have the ability to touch so many people in a positive way?" It gave me comfort. I have since heard stories from some of you of how Bridget's journey and example has brought you or others back to their faith confirming this. Bridget you have been and continue to be a shining example of what God can do right here, right now if we are just conscious enough to see it. Thank you. I love you.

Finally, I literally just noticed that our part-time driver to the airport and full-time pastor's card that he gave us has the perfect scripture verse printed on it to end this blog entry. Bridget I am giving you "the look of knowing". God is great! God bless all of you. Here it is: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Rev. 3:20 NKJV